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Dear Julia:
In your books, couples never seem to lack desire, no matter how long they've been together. Why is that? David and I have been married for nine years, and lately, things have been a little boring.
Ann B.
If I'm reading you write (oh hahahaha), you mean that the lovemaking is perhaps a tad bit perfunctory? No zest, no spark, no burning desire? Now see, that's the great thing about books - heroes and heroines never get bored. Unfortunately, in real life, couples do get bored. BUT! You will undoubtedly be ecstatic to learn that romance novels routinely handle situations such as yours all the time.
Let me think, we've got the "meet him at the door wearing nothing but a smile." Personally, I've never been a big fan of this one. In my neighborhood, that might give the old geezer who works in his yard - EVERY SINGLE DAY, I might add - a huge heart attack. And besides, who honestly feels comfortable opening the door buck-naked in broad daylight? Not that there is anything wrong with that, you understand.
 All right, there is the always popular "slip her an aphrodisiac." Works great in the historical novels, but I foresee a bit of a problem in the 21st century. What exactly (besides snails) is an aphrodisiac? Chocolate? Sorry, but for most women, that's going to have to be one gigantic Hershey bar. And I do mean BIG.
Okay, well, there is also the "seize and abduct." Hey! We might be on to something here. Seizing and abducting was pretty popular in the medieval centuries when some king or duke was after your keep. Naturally, the prevailing response to such aggression was to go and grab the antagonist's daughter/sister/betrothed. A little tension, strange surroundings, and viola... you've got luv, sister.
Wait! Don't hit the back button yet!
In modern times, someone is always after us for something, right? The pressures from our jobs, our families, and our children's activities... it's all so overwhelming! Everything must happen at once, and if the gratification isn't instant, tempers flare. Chances are that those pressures are inundating you and making the regular things... like doing the nasty, for example... seem like just one more thing that needs your attention and energy. So what do you do to get the desire back? Seize and abduct!
 Pack an overnight bag, hide the cell phones and pagers, and before David can even get his tie off, push him right back into the car. He's probably not going to like it at first (a little tension), but by the time you reach that quaint little inn in the middle of nowhere (strange surroundings) he's going to be hungry. A good meal, a little vino, a stroll under a starry moonlit night, and voila, you've got love.
Don't worry, if you're on a budget, you can do the same thing at home. Turn off the phones, light a few candles, and splurge on a good bottle of wine. The key here is to SEIZE AND ABDUCT. Escape your environment, find a quiet space to relax without life's interruptions, and you'll be amazed at how quickly the spark is re-ignited. Once you figure out the formula that works for you, be sure and make a habit of it. And if you choose to ignore my very sound advice and go for the gold - that is, meeting him at the door buck-naked, well... have a phone handy in case someone needs to call 911 .
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Love Quote
"They do not love who give the body and keep
The heart ungiven; nor they who yield the soul,
And guard the body. Love doth give the whole;
Its range being high as heaven, as ocean deep,
Wide as the realms of air or planet's curving sweep."
Alfred Austin
(1835 - 1913)
English Poet |
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