|When Raid Makes the Best Perfume|
|Dear Dating Doctor:|
On your website you ask visitors to tell you about the best or worst dates they have ever experienced. Here's mine. Go ahead and guess whether this was my best or worst.
Dating Doctor comments in parenthesis. I met my date in a bar (this was your first big mistake). He was a very clean-cut young man and quite personable. We were having so much fun together that the time just flew by. Before we knew it, it was 2:30 am and neither one of us had enough money for the cab fare required to get me home (How convenient. So, how were you planning to get home had you not met him?). He informed me that he lived around the corner and I could stay at his apartment until 5:00 am when I could catch a bus home. That was only a few hours away and I was wired so I thought, "what the heck." (Second big mistake for many obvious reasons).
We arrived at his apartment minutes later. It was clean and tidy. However, when he turned on the light, I looked up at the ceiling and was horrified to see at least 50 cockroaches scatter. I glanced at my date as he smiled and suggested that we go into the living room. We did, but I asked him not turn on the lights. I was afraid of what I might see.
We watched television in the dark as cockroaches scurried across the screen. The moonlight was coming in through the window and provided just enough light to allow me to see roaches walking up and down the curtains and the support rods. I began to feel as if roaches were walking on my clothes. I was too frozen by fear to verify if they were or not.
I calmly asked him if I could use the phone as I wanted to call my roommate to come and get me or have cab fare ready when I got home. He walked me to the kitchen and pointed to where the phone was sitting. There were two roaches stoically posed on the mouth piece. I "shooed" them away and called my roommate. I told her what was going on while counting out loud the number of roaches I could see. I remember stopping at thirtysomething. She thought that I was kidding and hung up.
I finally asked my date why he didn't use raid or some type of extermination device and he informed me that he considered the roaches his "pets." At this point, I had to get out of there, so I sat on the doorsteps to the apartment for the next two hours waiting for the bus to arrive. (Third big mistake. At that hour, this was quite dangerous for you.)
The next night, I ran into him at the same bar (fourth big mistake . . . you went back to the scene of the crime). He had heard that I was giving a party at my home and was fishing for an invitation. There was NO WAY that I was going to invite him to attend as I was afraid that he would bring a few of his pets along too.
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This article is copyright © 1998 David D. Coleman ("The Dating Doctor")
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